In one of those indecisive modes again. Is it night? Check. Read my earlier blog about Day and Night to understand more about how the time of day can affect our mindsets.
I keep going back in forth about my priorities. I've always wanted to be a filmmaker/musician all my life. It's only recently that I've become obsessed with travel. So, when I see a super awesome movie or hear a super rad band it only pushes me back into that direction. When I watch the travel channel or research New Zealand, it pushes me back in the travel direction. I had been working out in Los Angeles for nearly 4 years in the film industry before my movie deal fell through. At that time I was certainly burnt out and discouraged. Traveling made sense at the time. Now that I am refreshed, I have that drive, that burning desire to make films and music again. But would it be a mistake to go back to LA so soon and start all over? Should I choose New Zealand because film will always be there? After all, living abroad is the more delicate dream. That's what I keep telling myself at least.
There will always be doubts but I feel that we have to make a decision. I can't keep floundering around about this. It is time to move forward and get on with it. I miss Los Angeles terribly but as much doubt I can get about New Zealand, deep down I know that it's as close to a once in a lifetime opportunity as you can get. Going to outer space might be in the same ballpark. I have taken a step forward by obtaining my New Zealand work visa. Every decision feels great and hurts at the same time because obviously I'm still heading in two directions.
Going to Alaska tomorrow. Random, I know. Alaska should be massively epic and maybe it will help point me in the right direction. I'll be shooting the next installment of Gap Year there with nice friends who are letting my sister and I stay up there. If you haven't seen the first episode of Gap Year it is here. Stay positive.
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